I like words, discovering new ones and looking up their meanings, yet I’ve always had an aversion to any piece of writing that starts off with something like, “The word x is defined as….” It’s always felt like a weak beginning and I’ve vowed never to do it.
But sooner or later we end up breaking our hard and fast rules, so I’m going to start this column with a definition for the word “responsible” which you won’t find in any dictionary: being responsible means changing the toilet paper roll when the old one is empty.
It’s a simple practice but it’s not as easy as you might think, especially for someone as mechanically challenged as I am. I’ve often had to collect the two sections and center spring of the spindle from the floor multiple times before finally getting it back on the holder, or have spent an extra ten minutes in a public stall trying to figure out how to reload one of those multi-roll contraptions.
What’s important about this exercise is that I took the time to attend to the task in front of me, without an audience, or accountability, or the expectation of any reward beyond the boost it gave to my own self-esteem.
But once we experience the freedom that comes from measuring ourselves against our own criteria instead of someone else’s, we will see how incredibly satisfying being responsible can be.
This is the kind of responsibility I’m talking about, where the focus is on being self-accountable rather than other-accountable. This is often difficult for people who are highly responsible in a job in which they have to answer to someone else, but it is an essential skill for anyone trying to execute a career transition or launch an entrepreneurial venture.
Taking ownership of your professional life means learning to think of a personal goal as a project just like the ones you’re given at work. You bring it to completion the same way you do on the job, by breaking it down into a sequence of smaller actions and committing the time and discipline to execute them within a deadline you set for yourself.
Here’s an example. A highly skilled sales professional has made the decision to pursue full-time his weekend interest as a scholar and writer by starting a business offering educational services.
His preliminary market research has identified a number of target organizations and generated a list of next steps. Now he can proceed to learn more about his potential clients’ needs and begin to engage with them the same way he would as a sales professional. This means applying his professional skills to his dream using the same best practices he uses in his current job.
This is work only he will know he does. No one will be looking over his shoulder, asking if he made x number of calls in such-and-such a time period. No one will check the status of his to-do list.
Yet by consistently taking on each objective and being attentive to doing it well he will maximize his chances of success. And the energy he gets from a series of small achievements will keep him going until he begins to make money doing what he wants.
Many of us have grown so accustomed to having others establish the standards for our performance and monitor our progress toward reaching them that self-accountability feels foreign and even a little scary.
But once we experience the freedom that comes from measuring ourselves against our own criteria instead of someone else’s, we will see how incredibly satisfying being responsible can be.
This reminds me of the old adage “a clear conscience is a soft pillow.” You have to be more conscientious to do a good job even when no one is looking, but part of you can relax knowing it’s a job well done. Now I’m remembering another old adage: If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing well
@Glenn Johnson, Thank you for adding more of the wisdom of the ages to this subject. Bev
Bev – Short and sweet. Profound and necessary. You put into words what I (and others) have been advocating for ions. This I will share. Kudos.
@Barbara, It’s always harder to say things crisply, isn’t it. Bev
Hi Bev,
This resonated with me as it is a topic that Bart and I discuss often. We often laugh at how “overly” responsible we both are – but then would rather that than the opposite. Your post helped me have a more positive perspective about a trait that can be so helpful in one’s personal and professional life. As always your wisdom and writing is an inspiration. I will also share this.
@Donna Buonopane,
Perhaps there’s a difference in feeling you have to be responsible because someone else hasn’t or may not be and wanting to be responsible entirely for yourself?
Hi Bev, I can always hear your voice of calm and wisdom as I take those incremental steps to personal and professional freedom. Some days and weeks are better than others, but you are correct that the energy gained from small achievements helps sustain me.
Sustaining energy always comes for the inside and we stop wasting a lot of it when we keep the focus on ourselves. Thank you for commenting. Bev
Hi Bev,
This made me think of teens and young adults and the building of their futures. So many are in the habit of depending on parents to take care of them, that they may not know how to change the ‘roll’.
Many follow the lead of parents, teachers, peers when selecting career path, without knowledge of themselves, passions, talents, and their value. It seems to me that this knowledge would empower them to change the ‘role’ they pursue to something more personally fulfilling. Thank you Beverly.