Shortly after arriving at my retreat destination on Skaneateles Lake, I took a walk on Glen Haven Road, a narrow lane cut into the steep hill above the western shoreline.
Just beyond the bend in the road where crimson Virginia Creeper had wrapped itself like a shawl around the arms of a golden maples, I saw a woman jogging up the hill toward me, and then a car approaching from behind her. A moment later I heard I car coming up behind me as well.
Suddenly my walking route, which was normally deserted on an off-season weekday, had turned into a crowded thoroughfare. There was no shoulder, and I thought I might have to leap down a ladder to a boathouse to get out of the way, but both cars stopped, and the driver coming toward me pulled over as far as he could to let the driver coming from behind me pass, and then he carefully proceeded. We all waved at each other and went on our way.
These acts of courtesy felt very special to me. Why? Because they were in sharp contrast to the stories of rudeness I routinely hear about from my clients who are looking for work.
Individually we may be powerless to change the employment situation, but we can change how we handle ourselves within it. And we can start by claiming our right to be treated with respect.
Someone reaches the final round of interviews, spends a full day talking to a prospective employer, and then there’s dead silence for a month. Phone calls to referrals go ignored. A man who has managed his own business for 25 years is told by an insensitive gatekeeper that he has nothing tangible to offer.
I wonder, would it really take that much for employers to update potential candidates periodically? Or to call someone who has been referred to them back to let them know they can’t be of help? Or to point someone whose skills are out-of-date in a direction where he might be able to get the training that would allow him to be considered?
Would it make a big difference to the people on the receiving end? I say yes. We are human beings first and work-seekers second.
A short debrief session with a contender who has come in second or third in a search could help him to make meaning out of the experience and get going again faster. It’s better to know up front that someone is unavailable than to waste time and energy in pursuit. And having somewhere to turn to bridge a gap in credentials is a completely different experience from being told you’re useless.
We all know there are fewer jobs and more competition, and that no matter who won the election, the picture is not going to improve overnight, just as we all know—even though we’d like it be true—there’s no quick way to lose weight. That’s why a photo of a placard at a political rally showing the word JOBS with the J and the O crossed out leaving only BS recently went viral. While the downward trend in the unemployment rate may be encouraging, it doesn’t mean that there will be enough jobs to go around any time soon.
So I’m on a campaign for work-search courtesy and I invite anyone who has experienced it (or the lack of it) to jump on the bandwagon and leave a comment.
Individually we may be powerless to change the employment situation, but we can change how we handle ourselves within it. And we can start by claiming our right to be treated with respect.
There’s a very famous scene in the movie Midnight Cowboy where a down-and-out, homeless character named Ratso Rizzo (played by Dustin Hoffman) is almost run over by a cab driver who disregards him. Ratso immediately starts pounding on the hood of the car with his fists and shouts, “I’m walking here, I’m walking here!” **
People who are looking for work are walking here, too, and they have the right to be treated with courtesy.
** Interesting sidelight: this scene was actually not in the script. They were filming in a cordoned-off area of New York, and a cab driver ignored a barricade and burst onto the set, and Hoffman responded brilliantly in character.
Beverly, I think you’ve hit a nerve of the nation with this post. Those not into bigoty and meaness are so ready for a renaissance of courtesy and kindness.
I put a link up to your article on the P4T website. And your quotes are beyond marvelous!
@Carol Christen,
Thank you Carol, We simply need to actively counterbalance all the negative forces at work if we are going to be a people and country we can respect! Bev
Of course, I’ve had the same experiences! I almost expect it from big box retail stores which is one of the many reasons I don’t bother to apply to them any more. BUT…local small businesses might want to think twice about not getting back to applicants. I don’t take it personally if I’m not a fit
after an interview (maybe it’s mutual). However I will remember that lack of
contact when doing business and maybe decide to choose another business
over yours! How long does it really take to send an email?
DLB
@Deb Bailey,
Someone wrote me that a high-end department store had 5,000 people apply for 500 jobs, but they realized the 4,500 hundred applicants they could not hire were also potential customers, so they went out of their way to treat them well. Obviously this is not a common practice, but it should be. Thank you for adding your voice to the discussion. Bev
You are the first one that has asked this be changed and I commend you for it. I attend a support group and yesterday we were talking about the degrading treatment by business of those applying as well as newly hired fearing they may lose their jobs if they get sick, or whatever happens. For me, in my 60s, my sole support hubby suffered a brain injury, going from an attorney to requiring care 24/7. I tried to get work and just could not connect long term with anyone who wanted my skills and talents. Wow, does this hurt. But moving forward, I am setting up a home business and plan to succeed with it.
@Rhen Kohan, I hear a lot of venting at support groups about being treated poorly as well, but I also wonder if we don’t need to tell the people who are behaving rudely toward us how we feel (in a respectful way of course) instead of complaining to one another. Best of luck with your home business. Bev
@Beverly Ryle, Thank you. To comment to your comment, it appears to me that both forums are needed – the first is a support place for those seeking jobs to vent, discuss, hear from others what they are experiencing which I don’t view as complaining as much as seeking support to hear what others have experienced because job search tends to be isolating. The second is speaking to those prospective employers which can at times be a challenge inasmuch as it seems hard to even get a reply but certainly worthy to try. I have done this however my feedback seemed to fall on deaf ears or people that were so busy, they just couldn’t or didn’t care. However, your suggestions are so worthy because they suggest a committed focus.
@Beverly Ryle, Yes, I agree there is the need for support and when we know others are having the same experience we feel less alone. As for speaking up to people who are non responsive in the first place, we follow up with a call, email or note for ourselves, to preserve our own ” I”m walking here” dignity. Nice to talk with you, Rhen. Bev
Hi Beverly,
Haven’t spoken to you in years but through your articles I continue to feel connected. Excellent article as my job search experience off and on from 2002 reflects this lack of courtesy as the norm. I’m currently semi-retired, but will eventually go to work for a friend who has a very small business and wants and needs the experience I can bring. Having a relationship such as this appears to be one of the few situations in which courtesy and respect for the individual is active, and that’s a poor commentary on our society. Thanks for addressing this issue.
@Ray Tricarico, So glad you’ve decided to put your energy and talent where you are valued, Ray. Ultimate I believe there’s a cost for a lack of courtesy being the “norm” particularly when you never know when you’ll be the one looking for work! Thank you for staying connected. Bev
Amen!
Thank you Bev.
Beverly,
I enjoyed receiving a link to this article as it’s something I’ve pondered and talk about as a whole in my blog.
As someone who has experienced these non-communication challenges and what I’ve called falling into the black hole from potential employers in the past, I’m often left wondering if it’s truly volume to blame, or is this the culture of the company… Either way, as they say one should always put their best foot forward – and not returning calls/emails (for openings, referrals or networking), doesn’t live up to behavior. Aren’t we to some degree all in this together?? It also doesn’t bode well if this is the direction we are moving in as a society.
As an aside, I’ve even heard of cases where a candidate has followed up after not hearing anything back weeks after an in-person interview and was berated for being a pest!
With your permission, would love to share your post on my blog. Could you please let me know if that would be OK?
Thanks!
K
@K, It is so interesting K that you would comment about being” in it together” as that will be the subject of my December newsletter. I’d be delighted if you spread the work by sharing my thoughts on your blog and hope you will comment in December as well. Bev
@Beverly Ryle, Beverly, Thanks for the OK to share – I always try to be polite and ask! I should have it up within the next 2 days… feel free to visit my page too.
I’ll definitely keep an eye out for your next blog post – I believe I’ve subscribed – didn’t see the confirm, but will subscribe again if necessary!
All the best – K
Please leave a link here so other can check out your site as well. Bev
Beverly:
I am so glad that you wrote about boorish behavior. I could not agree more.
The lack of courtesy shown by prospective clients or employers can be down right appalling at times. It’s like people go through a process: “check the environment for who can supply what I need, visit possible candidates (some form of interviewing), find the one that best suits my needs and throw the rest back into the dumpster without even a thank you dog.”
I am certain that if the tables were turned, those same individuals would not want to experience that type of treatment.
What I find so surprising is that a lot of enterprises have spent considerable sums on customer satisfaction surveys and training programs. It makes you wonder if anyone was really paying attention.
I will stop here even though I could go on more about a topic that hits a real nerve with me.
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