During the holidays, a senior executive I work with unplugged and loved the time it gave her to think, to enjoy breathing space, and “feel more sane.” At the end of the long first Monday back, her non-stop schedule with too much work and too many meetings left her wanting to do nothing but stretch out on the couch and watch Downtown Abbey. Yet she found herself in work mode, sitting up and tensely typing tweets instead. She had to make herself stop and enjoy the show.
Harper Reed, Chief Technology Officer for President Obama’s 2012 reelection campaign, was used to receiving thousands of emails a day, but when the election was over, he chose to put distance between the campaign and what was coming next in his life by giving himself a week away from the Internet and 140-character tweets to read a 1,000 page history of the Stalingrad Campaign.
I like these examples of creating a healthier balance between time spent on- and offline because they represent conscious choices that are far removed from all the hype we’re hearing these days about “digital detox.”
Ultimately if we want technology to enhance and not devour our lives, we will have to know the difference between more and enough.
The overuse of electronic devices is being touted as addiction by the same media sources that are invested in keeping us tethered to them and news reports on the problem use the language of the very technology people are being asked to withdraw from.
People need “time away to reformat their own personal hard drives.” Areas where gadgets are prohibited are “coldspots.” Twenty-something girls report becoming better friends (“sort of, giggle, giggle”) after going “cold-palmed” for two weeks. “Device-free” parties feature “analog distractions” such as board games, crafts, even a typewriter!
Like a vibrating cell phone, language such as this directs our attention toward rather away from the technology being abused. It sends mixed messages that minimize the seriousness and the pervasiveness of the problem.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, whenever someone continually talks about when, where and what they used to drink, they call it a “drunk-a-log” and see it as a sign of potential relapse.
For me, hearing someone talk about needing to take a break from tweets, emails, phone calls, RSS, SMS, IM, etc. has the same ring.
Couldn’t we call it time away for rest, reflection and renewal? Couldn’t we use our “device hand” to making physical contact with the person standing in front of us? Is it really necessary to think of the outdoors, the stars in the sky or nature, as a coldspot?
I think a better approach is to simply ask the question, “Is this working for you?” and we’re more likely to arrive at an honest answer if we avoid technical jargon.
Technology is pervasive, and we can’t totally abstain from using it. As Levi Felix, a self-proclaimed recovering techie and creator of the “Digital Detox Retreat” observes, “I love that technology connects us and is taking our civilization to the next level, but we have to learn how to use it, and not have it use us.”
Taking an evening or even a week off from your devices, going on an unplugged retreat, temporarily disabling the phone, is only the beginning. The real test comes as you face the decision, moment-to-moment, hour-by-hour, day-by-day, whether you really need to boot up, check in, or log on.
The best definition of addiction I know sums up the condition in a single word—more. Addiction, to booze, drugs, money, shoes, chocolate, anything, simply means always wanting more, never feeling you have enough.
If you want more technology there’s no lack of it. But if you want other things in your life—solitude, face-to-face conversation, uninterrupted space—you have to make room for them.
Ultimately if we want technology to enhance and not devour our lives, we will have to know the difference between more and enough.
Beverly, thanks for saying what I have been thinking, and for saying it so eloquently.
I am going to forward this article to my husband and kids. We all need to be reminded
of the importance of face-to-face, not digital, interaction these days.
Karen Gruen
@Karen G, Thank you for passing along the counterculture message where it matter most, in our families. Bev
Wonderful, wise piece, Bev — thank you! I totally agree with you that
” . . . if you want other things in your life—solitude, face-to-face conversation, uninterrupted space—you have to make room for them.”
I think what’s tricky for many people is that the WANT hasn’t translated itself into actionable objectives, like solitude, face-to-face time, etc. They experience the WANT more abstractly as nagging dissatisfaction, or a pervasive sense of disconnection. It can be hard to make the connection from something like “I’ve lost my passion” to “I need some solitude.” I don’t know the answer to this!
@Sharon Teitelbaum, Yes, that’s what it is–a gap between wanting and claiming, awareness and action. Thank you for expressing it so beautifully and for not having an answer! Bev
I hope everyone will take a “technology holiday” when they get behind the wheel of a car. Even if you have a handsfree device for your cell phone, you suffer from inattention blindness if you’re talking on your cell phone (not to mention what happens if you text while driving). This means you will MISS a larger percentage of important visual information when you are driving, and this is costing thousands of lives a year. Those lives lost include those of my brother and sister-in-law, killed on their way home from their daughter’s college graduation. My niece was also permanently injured. You made need to put your cell phone in your glove box or trunk until you break your addiction, but once you do, I think you will find driving a more enjoyable experience than you have in a while. I know I have.
@Ellen G., I am so sorry for your great and tragic loss, Ellen. Thank you for honoring your loved ones by speaking out about more serious consequences to digital addiction than I had in mind when I wrote the column. Bev
Beverly, Thanks for this important message — to know when to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
So many rlationships are threatened with loss of communication, lack of personal touch(emotionally and physically)
Thanks for the send out to all HUMANS,
Bob
@robert green, Your emphasis on the word “human” reminds me about reading (see post below) about how digital “advances” in robotics replacing human care of the ill and elderly. Bev
Yes! Many will thank you for your reminder that technology can overwhelm .. if allowed. Many authors realize this and self-publishing proves it. I publicize my volunteer lifestyle for awareness. Do I want to sell my book? Yes. Do I want to spend 24/7 with social media to achieve that end? No. Technology is necessary. It does save time and money. To that end, I have chosen not to sacrifice personal interaction for isolation. Now I actually have time to write.
@Barbara, I applaud your choice not to “sacrifice personal interaction for isolation”. For me it is summed up well in the title of a book by Sherry Turkle, an MIT technology and society specialist, called Alone Together. Bev
Hi Bev,
I am picturing you unplugged tonight as I know most of the Cape is without power and quite unplugged. Hope you are able to enjoy the quiet and you are not dealing with too much damage. I hope you also have a means to stay warm and cozy. Thank you for talking about tech obsession as being addictive as I often wonder how young people will ever find a love interest if they do not look up from their phones! I know for me, I have a new routine which is to scan email in the AM for urgent messages, like clients rescheduling, for about 5 minutes and then move to my magic journaling time and my priorities for the day. While email and social media can be seductive,as you never know what you might get, staying connected to people at home and on my team plus working on my priorities keeps me grounded and on purpose!
Take care,
Gail
@Gail McMeekin I asked my very good looking oldest grandson what made a girl attractive or unattractive to him and the first thing he said was to the later was “a cell phone in their hand”. When I think of how I felt in high school if a really cute guy paid any attention to me I know I’d been looking in his eyes, not texting! Bev