The Right Resource

I finally did it—started strength training. In 2009 my doctor said that my worsening T-scores (bone density results marking the progression of osteoporosis) indicated that I either had to take action or go on medication, but I only got as far as checking out, and rejecting, membership in a local gym—if I didn’t enjoy being there for the five minutes it took for the receptionist to show me around, it was highly unlikely I would have gone three times a week.

Feeling safe also makes it possible for us to comfortably stretch our thinking, as well as our muscles. A good resource applies the right amount of pressure to keep us moving without pushing too hard.

For five years I discarded one idea after another—a treadmill in the basement, exercise videos, a personal trainer who thought that anyone over 40 had entered old age.  I did take longer walks and tried to follow the exercise program, albeit haphazardly, in a book on how to build strong bones, but I knew I wasn’t challenging myself enough and felt like I was copping out.

What was missing was the right resource.

Enter Judy, a trainer a friend in her eighties has been relying on for years to help her with shoulder pain. I’d heard too many stories about people my age getting injured from workouts, but I knew that I could feel safe with her.

In fact, whether it’s a fitness trainer or a business coach, safety is the most important factor in finding the right resource.

A sense of safety is usually present or absent in your first interactions. Does the potential resource ask questions to assist you in deciding if they are the right person to help, or do they simply advocate for their program?

I recently spoke with a prospective client, a senior manager who’d been laid off, and I asked him if he was able to see his loss as part of a bigger transition in his life or if he just wanted to find another position. When he indicated it was the latter, I knew that I was probably not the right resource for him at this particular time because my approach is much broader than job search.

On the other hand when I asked the same question to someone else who’d been out of work for some time, he was eager to engage in a process of introspection and discovery because he intuitively knew that his patterns and attitudes were as important to his success as his resume.

When a potential resource is explicit and open about the steps in their process and what is expected, it makes it easier for you to determine if working with them would be a good match and to measure your level of commitment against what it will take to arrive at the desired end.

Feeling safe also makes it possible for us to comfortably stretch our thinking, as well as our muscles. A good resource applies the right amount of pressure to keep us moving without pushing too hard.

I certainly wish I’d started strength training earlier, but I also know the reason I didn’t was because I wasn’t ready for a teacher for whom fitness is a way of life.  Before I could strap on the weights and do the reps consistently I had to get to the place of being eager to learn and willing to do everything I could to take care of myself.

A good teacher/coach checks her ego at the door and constantly adjusts what they ask of us based on our feedback. Rather than being like the “great and powerful Oz,” they are more like Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, who guides with a firm but gentle hand because she knows Dorothy is the one who is doing the work.