Months ago, in the early stages of the economic downturn we’re in now, I read a report in the New York Times that over half of working adults were worried about losing their job. My instincts tell me that this proportion has significantly risen since then. Let’s face it—it’s hard to rest easy when giants like GM are tumbling.
Since there is so much anxiety these days, I decided to take a closer look at it by reading Edward Hallowell’s book, Worry.
According to Hallowell, worry actually has a valuable purpose. It’s there to alert us to danger and prompt us to take protective action. Unfortunately, being human, we have a tendency to let our imagination run away with us and create perceptions of danger that are not real.
Which is why Samuel Johnson, a consummate worrier himself, said back in the 18th century, “Worry is the disease of the imagination.”
By putting structure in place, you can be prepared for worry when it inevitably shows up. Worry is a constant traveling companion, but it must be kept in the passenger seat. You can’t let it get behind the wheel.
Those of us who are trying to find new models for employment security in the 21st century need to work at letting our imagination work for us, not against us. The imagination must be free to innovate, create and produce, for these are the essential building blocks of the new era of work.
We simply can’t afford to let worry turn into, “Ruminations—relentless, repetitive thoughts [that] eat away at our well-being and good judgment” (Hallowell), for a sense of well-being and good judgment are the things we need most when dealing with a challenge. We need to worry enough, but not too much.
RIGHTSIZING WORRY
To help us understand the dynamic of how worry becomes toxic. Hallowell provides an equation:”Heightened vulnerability plus lack of control equals toxic worry,” or, as I abbreviate it, HV + LC = TW.
“The more vulnerable you feel (regardless of how vulnerable you actually are) and the less control you feel (regardless of how much control you actually have), the more toxic your worry will become. Therefore, any steps you can take to reduce your feelings of vulnerability and/or increase your feelings of control will serve to reduce your feeling of toxic worry”
Hallowell suggests a number of actions, physical (regular exercise, changing your position as soon as a wave of worry hits you, also known as “move a muscle change a thought”), psychological (positive self-talk, cognitive-behavioral therapy), practical (limiting media intake, putting a pad by your bedside to write down thoughts that trouble you in the night), and pharmaceutical (anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications).
REASON AND ACTION
The best way to corral runaway feelings is with a logical sequence of steps. Hallowell calls this EPR, evaluate-plan-remediate:
- EVALUATE what’s happening
- make a PLAN to deal with it
- take action to REMEDIATEhow you’re feeling.
Recently I was excessively worried about a presentation I was going to make at a national conference in Boston. Signs of this included working on it too long, going back over it again and again, waking up in the middle of the night fearful that the audience would be non-responsive, agonizing over whether to drive or take public transportation to the conference, whether to go the day before or early the morning of, etc.
To stop the rumination cycle, I sat down with a legal pad and asked myself why this particular situation was causing me so much anxiety. I wrote:
“Evaluate: This is a big event. It is important to me professionally because I will be speaking to my peers. Of course I’m nervous!
“Plan: Cross-check logistics with the coordinators to make sure the technical setup goes smoothly. Book a session with a presentation coach to review my content and delivery.”
When I took the “Remediate” step and followed through on calling the coordinators and the presentation coach, I got answering machines, but I still felt better because, as Hallowell says, I had “put reason and action in the way of worry.”
By putting structure in place, you can be prepared for worry when it inevitably shows up. Worry is a constant traveling companion, but it must be kept in the passenger seat. You can’t let it get behind the wheel.
The use of structure—a weekly schedule, a running list of ideas, a communication plan for each one of your key contacts, etc.—will increase your sense of control and therefore change the worry equation.
Hallowell calls structure a “potent anti-anxiety agent.” I call it the work-searcher’s best friend. If you are out of work, it is absolutely essential that you find a way to replace the structure you lost with your job to provide a sense of control which will spare you from the paralysis of worry.
STAYING CONNECTED
Just as structure lessens the “loss of control” term of the “toxic worry” equation (HV + LC = TW), connectedness reduces “heightened vulnerability” (HV).
I saw this vividly demonstrated last week when I spoke to a large formal networking group of work-searchers about expanding their range of interaction with each other to build deeper relationships.
I asked them to partner with someone they did not know and talk about something important that was going on in their lives.
“Drop the spiel and be real,” I said to them. The room came alive.
In the debriefing session that followed the exercise, they spoke of feeling awkward at first and then being eager to share. They noticed that unlike their usual “networking” conversations it was OK for them to take a moment to reflect before speaking. Almost universally they said they felt someone was really listening and they were more comfortable and felt less alone.
The connectedness they experienced—Hallowell defines it as “simply feeling a part of something larger than yourself”—was their shared humanity. I told them to remember that we always connect as people first and that connection keeps us vital, engaged, and even safe from worry.
Hallowell sees connectedness as the “most powerful antidote to toxic worry” and beautifully articulates some of the many forms it can take: being a member of a family; feeling a part of history or a tradition; having social connections; connecting yourself to information and ideas through reading and study; belonging to an institution or an organization; experiencing transcendent, spiritual, or religious connectedness.
All of these channels offer tremendous opportunities for support. If you are worried because you are out of work, or worried that you might be out of work, the smartest thing you can do is make connectedness to others and yourself a priority.
